Top 5 Most Helpful Marriage Books
By: Alayna Lopez
My husband and I only just got married in 2024, so our marriage experience is limited, but the newlywed experience is still fresh on our minds. It also must be said we are blessed to be surrounded by many Christian friends and families who have poured into our lives, and to have a Christ-centered church that has couples fellowship and couples conferences.
It’s because of these people, and events that we have learned marriage books are not just for fixing a broken marriage and they’re also not for pointing out your spouses flaws either. They are for sanctification. Sanctification is process that begins the day you are saved, and continues until the day we see Jesus face to face in glory. It is in this process, though we are already saved, Jesus makes us more and more like him. We seek to be more like him not to earn salvation, but to give him glory honor and praise. Christian marriage books help us walk in our marriages in a way that honors God and honors Christ relationship to the church that our marriage symbolizes. So, don’t think of marriage books as a sign of a problem, but as part of the sanctification process.
For Men Only/ For Woman Only
These are actually two different books that I’m going to count as one. I read both of these book before getting married, and I can honestly say it’s made a huge difference in how I view things. These books, written by Shaunti Feldhahn, focus on the inner thought life of men and woman and how God made them different. For Woman Only explains the inner thought life of men, and For Men Only explains the inner thought life of woman.
It was truly eye-opening to read these books and see how differently men and woman interpret the world. It was completely counter to what I had grown up believing. I recommended these books to my mother once I had finished reading them, and she too felt as though she had learned some things she had never known before.
These books by no means are written to excuse the things spouses say or do, but are to explain the purpose’s for why God made us different and the struggles those difference can bring. Knowing how each other are different helps to bring grace into the picture and helps you to know how to handle situations differently.
2. The Love Dare Day by Day
We got this book as a wedding gift. We didn’t pull it out and read it right away, but at the start of the new year we thought we would give it a try. The book contains 365 short devotions. Each week is centered around a dare: choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse this week that goes beyond normal routine; be intentional this week to pray and read the bible; demonstrate love by choosing to give into an area of disagreement between you and your spouse this week; give a surprise gift that says I’m thinking of you.
I would recommend reading this book together in the morning so it’s on your mind first thing as you go about your day, and you will think about that weeks dare more intentionally. That being said, me and my husband’s morning schedules did not align at the time we were reading the book, so we read it at night, which still works great. This book helped us create a lasting daily devotion and prayer habit together.
3. Two Shall Become One
This book is actually the book my church uses for premarital counseling (highly recommend both the book and premarital counseling). There are many things throughout our marriage that remind me of this book. Perhaps one of the things that stood out to me the most was a testimony of a Christian couple who lost their home for a season, but how God provided for them, without others even knowing the situation that they were going through. It’s a beautiful story and a great book to get you on the same page as your spouse.
4. The Meaning of Marriage
This was also a wedding gift. Though, I would recommend reading it before you get married, it’s still a great resource for married couples. Even as a Christian who already understood the fundamentals of marriage and how it relates to God, I found this book helpful in how it explains it. As a married Christian couple, you have the opportunity in witness to unmarried friends and helping them see a clear picture of marriage, and this book is a huge help.
5. The Excellent Wife
Now, I don’t mean to single out the woman with this book, but I don’t have a male equivalent book to recommend as well, and it would be a great loss to not include it for that reason alone. I started this book years before I even met my husband. The book was a gift from my mother, but I hadn’t finished it due to it obviously not readily applying to my current life. Recently, I picked it back up. God’s timing really is great, as this book was talking about specific things I needed to hear in that moment.
Whether you give these books a read or not, I pray this blog helped in some way and that God may richly bless your marriage and others around you because of your marriage and your devotion to God. God bless!
